Say it ain't so, Mr. Volcker. Tell us that the reports we've been reading -- that you have stopped smoking cigars -- aren't true. How will unimaginative journalists be able to describe you if they can't write, "Paul Volcker, the towering 6-ft. 7-in., cigar-smoking chairman of the Federal Reserve Board" ? How will you blow enough smoke to shroud your policies in secrecy? How do we know that going cold turkey won't make you irritable and prone to raising interest rates? Sure, we realize that it will be good for your health to give up those 28-cent Antonio y Cleopatra Grenadiers....
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