Dear Miss Manners:
As president of Harvard, I find myself in a rather touchy situation. While planning our 350th anniversary celebration, to be held a year from September, it occurred to me that it would befit tradition for the other President to make a speech. The White House people were very polite, explaining that the President liked the idea but that they could not confirm a date that far away. Assuming he could come, they added rather pointedly, would Harvard award him an honorary degree? Well. Such awards, of course, are decided by a sacred convocation and are hardly tossed around...
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