Essay: The Hazards of Homemade Vows

Gina," the minister intoned, "do you agree to love Peter more than you love chocolate?" The bride said, "I do."

After that touch, Peter's promise fell a little flat. "Peter," the minister asked, "do you agree to love Gina more than the morning newspaper?" The bridegroom looked into his bride's eyes with a smile of insufferable whimsy: "I do."

It is high marrying season. The Gina-Peter ceremony was performed not long ago by the Rev. Bart Gould of the Second Unitarian Church of Chicago. The Rev. Mr. Gould has a taste for the fun nuptial....

Want the full story?

Subscribe Now

Subscribe
Subscribe

Get TIME the way you want it

  • One Week Digital Pass — $4.99
  • Monthly Pay-As-You-Go DIGITAL ACCESS$2.99
  • One Year ALL ACCESSJust $30!   Best Deal!
    Print Magazine + Digital Edition + Subscriber-only Content on TIME.com

Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!