Americana: Nonsex

When the city council of Woonsocket, R.I., three weeks ago approved some job descriptions that eliminated supposedly sexist language, a utility man became a utility person, whose duties included “building personholes.” Ever since, Woonsocket has been the butt of jokes from as far away as California, prompting Francis Lanctot, a councilman, er, person, to voice his feelings in verse. Excerpt:

They said it was a federal law.

And, like a moron, I took the

bait.

And conclusively proved to one and

all

That fools sail our ship of state.

Last week, in an effort to regain their dignity, the council members voted to go back to manholes, indicating that it will be a long time before a person-person delivers Woonsocket’s mail.