No frills and furbelows will bedeck their billowing bosoms; no petticoats will swathe their fattish calves; no bushy beards will sway from their chubby chins. No more will they, wearing what-the-gentlemen-will-wear, rush into night clubs. No more will their handsome features peer through a peekhole in a door behind which 200 topers are toping; and no more will their portly bodies enter to find a single toper dizzily sipping ginger beer. No more need wedding guests lifting their bubbling-stemmed glasses to the bride, fear sudden descent of those twain, snatching the...

Want the full story?

Subscribe Now


Get TIME the way you want it

  • One Week Digital Pass — $4.99
  • Monthly Pay-As-You-Go DIGITAL ACCESS$2.99
  • One Year ALL ACCESSJust $30!   Best Deal!
    Print Magazine + Digital Edition + Subscriber-only Content on

Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!