Nation: The Court Physician

SCENE: A room of the presidential suite in a hotel in New York, Chicago or Los Angeles.

CAST: The Vice President of the U.S. and his personal physician. The Vice President is undergoing a massage after a strenuous day on the campaign trail.

The Vice President: Well, Edgar, how did we do today?

Doctor: Lousy.

V.P.: What do you mean by "lousy"?

Doctor: I mean lousy. That's what.

Lie down.

V.P. (wincing): Stop digging your fingernails into my back. O.K. So it was lousy. In what way?

Doctor: Any time you have a half-hour TV panel show...

Want the full story?

Subscribe Now

Subscribe
Subscribe

Get TIME the way you want it

  • One Week Digital Pass — $4.99
  • Monthly Pay-As-You-Go DIGITAL ACCESS$2.99
  • One Year ALL ACCESSJust $30!   Best Deal!
    Print Magazine + Digital Edition + Subscriber-only Content on TIME.com

Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!