Dear Customer:
As a public service, we here at Uptight feel compelled to warn our clients about the subversive, scandalous and salacious advertising campaign currently being conducted by some of our competitors. I am referring specifically to ads in the local press that show two attractive young ladies coquettishly cavorting in what is variously described as a "linear jumpsuit" and a "turtle sock," but might more accurately be called an "allover nothing."
The garment in question is a stretch-nylon body stocking that covers everything but the head and hands of the wearer and...
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