Fitness Report. In London, the Times ran a classified ad: "Tired, bored, lazy army officer resigning from infantry regiment. Incompetent, drinks too much. Seeks employment, not too much work, London area. Age 28, looks 40."
Comeback. In Cleveland, questioned by a policeman, Motorist Theodore Kramer produced his driver's license with the address of the state penitentiary on it, was hauled back to his cell from which he had escaped a week earlier.
Stiff Sentence. In San Marino, Calif., covering the city's first armed robbery since 1952, the Tribune reported: "$40 was wrongfully expropriated."
Stereo. In Haifa, Israel, annoyed by a howling dog, Hi-Fi...