High Drama, Low Comedy

KWAKU ALSTON FOR TIME
The cast of "Meet the Fockers": Blythe Danner, Teri Polo, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Ben Stiller and Barbra Streisand

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STREISAND: You know I was never intimidated by anyone. Why is that?

DANNER: You have good self-esteem. You're Barbra Streisand, for God's sake.

STREISAND: Actually, yes, I was intimidated by one person. I sang at a fund raiser once with Sidney Poitier, Harry Belafonte and Marlon Brando, and I did it basically to meet Brando, who was my idol from age 13. So I'm peeking from one side of the stage to try and get a glimpse of him when I feel someone kissing my back. I turn around, and it was Marlon. I said, "Oh, no! You're ruining my fantasy. This is so real."

AND CREEPY.

STREISAND: I also got scared when I met well, I wasn't scared, but I guess I was very attracted to Kevin Costner. I wanted him to play Prince of Tides.

STILLER: You kind of have a type there.

YEAH. GOYIM.

STILLER: Oh no, not at all. Jim Brolin looks very Jewish in person. He's much shorter than you think.

STREISAND: Kevin was amazing because I told him, "I'm a little nervous." And he just took me in his arms and held me.

STILLER: I think he does that to a lot of women, actually.

STREISAND: Well, it worked. And then he held my hand for the whole time I talked to him. Four hours.

HOFFMAN: I'm sure he tried to move his hand to other places.

STREISAND: He said he would love to do Prince of Tides but he was making Dances with Wolves. And then I presented him with the Oscar for that.

STILLER: I don't have any stories that end with me saying "And I presented him with the Oscar for that."

STREISAND: Actually, now that I think of it, Ingmar Bergman hugged me too.

DOES CLINTON HUG YOU?

STREISAND: Oh, yeah. He's a great hugger.

DANNER: You went to the opening of the Clinton library, right?

STREISAND: Sat for 21/2 hours in the rain.

DANNER: Did you sing?

STREISAND: No! I was down in the audience. How about how these media people on TV, the so-called liberal press--

HOFFMAN: You're going to f___ing bury yourself.

STREISAND: [Laughter.] This is why I never do press. I came out for you guys, for my family.

BARBRA AND DUSTIN, YOU GUYS WENT TO THE SAME ACTING SCHOOL IN THE EARLY '60S. DID YOU KNOW EACH OTHER WELL BACK THEN?

STREISAND: Dustin knew my husband Elliott Gould at the time. Both of them were friends with Walter what was Walter's last name?

HOFFMAN: Hyman.

POLO: Oh, dear.

STREISAND: So the three of them I remember meeting Dustin one day, and he mooned me in the elevator.

STILLER: I also got mooned by Dustin Hoffman.

POLO: Who hasn't been?

BEN, I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR DE NIRO IMITATION.

STILLER: I'm really glad you didn't get to it until after he left, because literally for the five years since we did the first movie, I've never ever brought it up with him.

STREISAND: What did you do?

STILLER: On this sketch comedy show I did on Fox a long time ago, I did this takeoff on Cape Fear called Cape Munster, where I was Eddie Munster as De Niro in Cape Fear.

STREISAND: Funny.

STILLER: Yeah, it was just a bizarre sketch that, uh, I keep on meaning to mention to him. [Laughter.] I don't know if he knows about it. I don't think it would be a big deal. He has a great sense of humor. But I've found that when you've done an impression of somebody, it doesn't really behoove you to say to them, "Hey, I did an impression of you. Check it out, man!"