Books: Quick, Nan, the Garlic Gun

DON'T TELL ALFRED (247 pp.)—Nancy Mifford—Harper ($3.95).

"I sat on my bed, looking at Alfred.

" 'Do we laugh or cry?' he said. 'Did you see the baby?'

" 'Not really. It seemed to be asleep.'

" 'Whose do you think it is?'

" 'Oh, surely theirs?'

" 'It's yellow.'

" 'Babies often are.'

" 'No, darling. I mean it's an Asiatic baby.'

" 'Heavens! Are you quite sure? I thought it was our grandchild.' "

The baby in question is 'Chang, named after Po Chang, the great Zen master who said, "When you are tired, sleep." David Wincham, bearded...