DON'T TELL ALFRED (247 pp.)Nancy MiffordHarper ($3.95).
"I sat on my bed, looking at Alfred.
" 'Do we laugh or cry?' he said. 'Did you see the baby?'
" 'Not really. It seemed to be asleep.'
" 'Whose do you think it is?'
" 'Oh, surely theirs?'
" 'It's yellow.'
" 'Babies often are.'
" 'No, darling. I mean it's an Asiatic baby.'
" 'Heavens! Are you quite sure? I thought it was our grandchild.' "
The baby in question is 'Chang, named after Po Chang, the great Zen master who said, "When you are tired, sleep." David Wincham, bearded...