COMEDIANS: The Meter Man

Nov. ig, 1863, Abraham Lincoln made a phone call from Gettysburg to his press-agent in Manhattan. Abe was rebellious. He was going to shave his beard and wear a cardigan. The flack demanded that he keep the beard, shawl, stovepipe and string tie, or he would wreck his "image." Abe then announced that he had his speech neatly typed, and this distressed the flack even more. "Abe," pleaded the pressagent, "how many times have we told you: on—the—backs—of—envelopes!"

This bit of fantasy is the work of George Robert Newhart, 30, the most...

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