Show Business: If You're Not Sick . . .

The fat comic felt at peace with the world, so he decided to call a boyhood pal, now an undertaker in Ohio. "This is Elwood P. Suggins," he said, choosing a phony name and his best rube twang. "My brother passed away Sunday a week, and I wonder if you could do a job." Said the undertaker: "Good God, man, Sunday a week! Where is he?" Replied the comic: "Out on the porch against the lattice. That cold spell that set in kept him harder than a carp. But then that warm spell set in,...

Want the full story?

Subscribe Now


Get TIME the way you want it

  • One Week Digital Pass — $4.99
  • Monthly Pay-As-You-Go DIGITAL ACCESS$2.99
  • One Year ALL ACCESSJust $30!   Best Deal!
    Print Magazine + Digital Edition + Subscriber-only Content on

Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!