Artemus Smith (a hardheaded businessman): As I was saying, Joe. I'm tired of all this pussyfooting. Why not come right out and call it a depression?

Josephus Jones (a watcher of trends, an economist): Couldn't agree more, Art. I'm tired of euphemisms myself.

Smith: Good! Good to get that settled. But I've been fascinated by something else. I hate to blurt it out, because some people might mistake my meaning. But this isn't really a sincere depression.

Jones: What do you mean? Sounds like you've been spending too much time on Madison Avenue.

Smith: What I mean is—well, pollsters like Sam Lubell have discovered that...

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