Solid Advice. In Sydney, Australia, the Rev. Jack Leonard, who is also a ventriloquist, showed up for Sunday school with a wooden dummy on his lap, obliged his youthful parishioners to listen while it delivered a 20-minute sermon.
Thin Excuse. In Vienna, asked why his Communist nation had not yet published Russian Novelist Boris Pasternak's heretical Doctor Zhivago, a visiting Bulgarian writer solemnly explained:"It's too thick."
On the Rocks. In London, after a court ordered him to stop cars from coming to his pub because of the noise they made on the cobblestone street, Geoffrey Bernerd hired three rickshas to transport his customers.