One day last week, nine-year-old Prince Charles of England accidentally tripped over a classmate's toes in a soccer match at Cheam School outside of London. Cried the injured party: "Hey, Fatty, get off my foot!" A husky lad, His Royal Highness squared off and began throwing punches. It was all rather humiliating; but a few days later Charles got a name that sounded a good deal nicer than mean old Fatty.

In a tape-recorded message. Queen Elizabeth II, who was bedded in London with a sinus infection, announced to wildly cheering crowds at the Empire Games' final ceremony in Cardiff,...

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