If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium rests upon a slight, bright springboard: a bunch of American tourists undergoing a special kind of American masochism called nine European countries in 18 days. What could have been a Grand Hotel on wheels swiftly degenerates into a bus of fools, overpopulated with drooling Babbitts and hatchet-faced moms. Humor centers around the foreign John with its mysterious bidet and its waxy toilet paper. A sleazy double-entendre occasionally surfaces, as when the tour guide observes that the cockney word for sausages is (smirk) bangers.
The film's romance...
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