Cinema: Unhappy Hunting Grounds

To the Apache, Shalalco means Bringer of Rain. In movie parlance it merely means Stupefier of Audience. In this wildly improbable western, Bringer of Rain (Sean Connery) is a rugged cavalry scout dispatched to the unhappy hunting grounds of the Apaches. There, he discovers a troupe of junketing European aristocrats, including Brigitte Bardot, Jack Hawkins and Honor Blackman, sipping drinks with pinkies extended, trading salon witticisms and plugging mountain lions from close range. Classic examples of the unspeakable pursuing the uneatable, the hunters blithely pooh-pooh Connery's warning that the Injuns are on a...