Composers: Spike for Highbrows

For one of his concert engagements, he arranged to be carried down the aisle of Manhattan's Philharmonic Hall on a stretcher borne by two men in white coats. His compositions include the "Unbegun" Symphony, which has only a third and fourth movement. As a concert commentator, he is the leading exponent of the sportscaster style ("The brasses are taking the theme and running ahead! Folks, this piece is definitely going to go into over time!"). His great contribution to musicology is the "discovery" of P.D.Q. Bach (1807-1742)?, the last and oddest of Johann Sebastian's 20-odd offspring. As countless amused concertgoers...