Show Business: The Homelies

FADE IN ON CLOSEUP of worried executive.

Announcer's Voice Off-Screen: Problems? Wondering how to present your product to the consumer? (Executive nods sadly.) Let me introduce you to TV's newest and most popular pitchmen: the Homelies. They come in all misshapes and off-sizes. (CUT TO rapid sequence shots of Homelies' anatomies.) Bulbous noses! Flabby jowls! Weak chins! Retreating hairlines! Bloated waistlines! They've got everything! Everything that it takes to sell merchandise! Why? (Executive mouths words why, why, why.) Because they're real people! They're believable! They're your next-door neighbors, faces on the street, reflections...

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