Show Business: Cole Mine

The lonesome oyster got sadder and moister. Like the Theodore Roosevelts and the A. G. Vanderbilts, he lived at Oyster Bay, but not at the same altitude. He longed for the high life. Eventually, on a round silver platter, he got his wish.

See that bivalve social climber

Feeding the rich Mrs. Hoggenheimer.

Think of his joy as he gaily glides

Down to the middle of her gilded insides—

Proud little oyster.

But not even Mrs. Hoggenheimer could stomach the little o's nauseating ambitions, and up she chucked him into Oyster Bay, where he was at last content to stay, for he had had his taste of...

Want the full story?

Subscribe Now


Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!