Music: The Great Ear-Wiggler

Night and day under the fleece of me T

here's an Oh, such a flaming furneth burneth the grease of me.

Night and day under the bark of me.

There's an Oh, such a mob of microbes making a park of me.

Night and day under the rind of me

There's an Oh, such a zeal for spooning ru'ning the mind of me . . .

Cole Porter never wrote these lines, but he (almost) might have. They are a memorable lampoon by the late Ring Lardner of Minstrel Porter's most famous attack of heartburn. Readers—as distinct from listeners—now have an opportunity to...

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