All over England last week, people were whistling in pubs and dancing in ballrooms to a tune written by two old ladies. Cruising Down the River was No. 2 on the English hit parade. Its gooey lyrics:
If you will go along with me, we'll travel with the tide
And I will always keep you on the sheltered side.
However rough the way may be, the waters dark and low
Through all the stormy weather I will always steer you home.
Cruising down the river . . .*
Cruising was written by stout, spinsterish Eily Beadel (who...