Lady Hit-Paraders

All over England last week, people were whistling in pubs and dancing in ballrooms to a tune written by two old ladies. Cruising Down the River was No. 2 on the English hit parade. Its gooey lyrics:

If you will go along with me, we'll travel with the tide

And I will always keep you on the sheltered side.

However rough the way may be, the waters dark and low

Through all the stormy weather I will always steer you home.

Cruising down the river . . .*

Cruising was written by stout, spinsterish Eily Beadel (who...

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