Foreign News: Tower Court-Martial

An iron-jawed British court-martial convened last week in the locally celebrated case of a Sergeant-Who-Watered-The-Beer -Of -The - Officers' -Mess -At -The -Tower-Of-London (where His Majesty's beer-bibbing Beefeaters guard the Crown Jewels).

This reckless character broke down as he faced the court-martial. He sniveled: "S'elp me, Hi honly done it to sive a few bob t'buy warm clothes for me wife an' child!"

Taking no chances, the court-martial suspended judgment until an investigation can be made of whether last winter the sergeant's wife and child really needed woollies. The final verdict: guilty.


Want the full story?

Subscribe Now


Get TIME the way you want it

  • One Week Digital Pass — $4.99
  • Monthly Pay-As-You-Go DIGITAL ACCESS$2.99
  • One Year ALL ACCESSJust $30!   Best Deal!
    Print Magazine + Digital Edition + Subscriber-only Content on

Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!