Foreign News: Red Tears

Charged with "the counterrevolutionary crime of misuse of power," Comrade Nikolai Konekov was hauled sobbing before a Moscow Soviet tribunal last week.

With great tears rolling down his stupid face he explained that, placed in charge of a Soviet collective farm in the region of Dalmatov, he had racked his brains to find some way of turning what looked like an unavoidable deficit into a profit. "I wanted to make a g-g-good showing for the glory of the p-p-proletariat!" sobbed Nikolai.

"No you didn't!" cut in the Soviet prosecutor. "Your order was given with...

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