Having perused well the chronicle of the week, the Vigilant Patriot views with alarm:
An attack upon the good name of an innocent woman now dead 97 years.
Two sad-eyed goats.
Garbage about Mr. Gladstone.
Barrel-chested, sweating, heavy-handed Adolph Seibert.
Enemies to the country"they do not even know when the time has arrived for a hair cut."
Indecent advances from a bald, skinny little man with glasses.
"A word in one letter that means a food, and it isn't T."
Mr. & Mrs. Coolidge badly jostled by crowds of eager druggists.
Too much sitting, too much clock-watching....