If You Read Only 10 Trashy Novels This Summer

  • ILLUSTRATION FOR TIME BY GREG CLARKE

    (3 of 3)

    WEAPONS OF CHOICE
    By John Birmingham

    GENRE Weapons-grade military techno-thriller

    THE SETUP The year is 2021. An ultra-high-tech multinational battle fleet (led by the U.S.S. Hillary Clinton, a George Bush — class supercarrier) is cruising off the coast of Indonesia, when suddenly a nearby high-energy physics experiment has a whoopsie, and the year isn't 2021 anymore. It's 1942, shortly before the Battle of Midway. So much for history as we know it. Birmingham could have just left this story as one big battle scene — he describes military hardware with an exuberance and virtuosity that's positively Clancyesque — but he also shows a surprisingly tender touch with his characters, who react to their unexpected time trip with authentic, believable anguish.

    FREE SAMPLE "Charlie Company doubled as Colonel Jones's cliff assault and small boat raiding squadron, and the SEALs had come to acquaint them with a new toy: the G4, a lightweight assault rifle that fired strips of caseless ceramic ammunition and programmable 30-mm grenades."

    IT'S LIKE A Clive Cussler novel fell into a transporter beam with a Stephen Ambrose history, and they came out all fused together.

    TEN BIG ONES
    By Janet Evanovich

    GENRE Mystery

    THE SETUP In case you haven't met before — this is the 10th book in the series — Stephanie Plum, based in Trenton, N.J., is a bounty hunter with a great sense of humor that balances out her bad attitude and worse luck. This time around, Stephanie — through no fault of her own — is the sole witness to a robbery, which makes her a target for the gang of bad guys who perpetrated it. At least it gives her an excuse to turn to her ridiculously good-looking fellow bounty hunter Ranger for help.

    FREE SAMPLE "'I vote we get him tonight at the multiplex,' Lula said. 'There's a movie I want to see. It's that one where the world gets blown up and there's only mutants left. I saw the ad on television, and one of those mutants is really fine.'"

    IT'S LIKE Dorothy Parker with a lousy job and a Jersey accent.

    DARKLY DREAMING DEXTER
    By Jeff Lindsay

    GENRE Serial-killer thriller

    THE SETUP Dexter is a forensic analyst with the Miami police department, specializing in the study of blood-spatter patterns. Dexter is also an emotionless serial murderer, driven by a remorseless alter ego he calls the Dark Passenger. He only kills people who deserve it — isn't that nice?--but when another serial killer starts preying on the citizens of Miami, Dexter hears the call of a kindred spirit. Or possibly some very unfriendly competition.

    FREE SAMPLE "Whatever made me the way I am left me hollow, empty inside, unable to feel. It doesn't seem like a big deal. I'm quite sure most people fake an awful lot of every day human contact. I just fake all of it."

    IT'S LIKE Very little else you've read. Imagine if Hannibal Lecter starred in CSI: Miami instead of David Caruso, and you're halfway there. With chills like this, you can skip the air conditioning this summer.

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