Going Solo

The yearning to see faraway places and the fear of visiting them alone seem to be universal human traits. Whenever travel writer Arthur Frommer gives a lecture and opens the floor to questions, a woman inevitably raises her hand and asks whether a female can safely travel by herself. "I always notice that all the men are leaning forward to catch the answer too," says Frommer. His verdict, for all concerned: an emphatic Yes!

Once fear is conquered, many older adults find they actually prefer traveling solo. Mature Americans, 55 and older, stay away from home the longest, according to the Travel Industry Association of America, and are also the likeliest of all age groups to journey alone or with someone outside their household.

Every couple of years, Dolores Perez Priem, 66, who was widowed 25 years ago, takes a break from her hectic, 14-hour workdays as the owner of a medical-transcription company in San Francisco and embarks on a solitary ramble in a foreign land. This year she's off to northern Europe to look at paintings by Van Gogh and the Dutch masters. "I don't know anyone who would want to spend as much time as I do in a museum looking at these paintings," she says. "And at this point in my life, I want to indulge my interests." Bernice Price, a divorce in her 70s who retired five years ago from her job as a special-ed teacher in New York City, first traveled abroad aboard the original Queen Elizabeth in 1949 on a lavish group grand tour. But her less luxurious solitary journeys in the years since have provided her with some of her most treasured memories. "I've had my best adventures and met the most people traveling by myself," she says.

Of course there are downsides and outright dangers that may discourage some seniors from venturing forth alone. Perhaps the greatest deterrent is the despised single supplement, the practice of charging individuals more than what members of a couple pay for lodgings. But even "Noah's rule," as it is called, has its scofflaws. For some of their programs, Saga International Holidays and Grand Circle Travel--both of which cater to people 50 and older--eliminate the single supplement entirely. For other programs, where single accommodations are unavailable, Saga provides a "guaranteed share," a roommate-matching service for unaccompanied travelers willing to occupy a double room; the single supplement is waived if a match can't be arranged. Elderhostel, the popular purveyor of learning vacations, also offers guaranteed shares--plus activities based on common interests that turn strangers into friends. In addition, a traveler who's willing to book at the last minute can often find bargains on the Internet from hoteliers willing to rent rooms inexpensively rather than let them go empty. Bernice Price has even discovered that some proprietors are willing to negotiate cheaper room rates over the phone.

Sharon Wingler, author of Travel Alone & Love It, is a domestic flight attendant who began taking trips abroad by herself after her divorce 15 years ago. "It takes me out of my everyday existence and makes me feel like I'm a citizen of the world," she says. "As a solo traveler you throw yourself on the mercy of strangers constantly--and someone's always there when you need them. It has restored my faith in humanity."

Still, there can be lonely moments. "If you see something really fantastic," notes Wingler, "there's no one to nudge and say, 'Wow! Look at that!'" Mealtimes are often the hardest. In addition to the self-consciousness many feel when dining alone, restaurant staff members sometimes glare at singles who take up a table that could be producing double the revenue. The solution for lunch: eat before or after the midday rush. At a slack time, a restaurant will welcome the single customer and provide more efficient and personal service to boot. For dinners, have the concierge at your hotel make a reservation; restaurant personnel will go out of their way to be hospitable, since they'll want future referrals from that concierge.

Whenever you feel lonely on the road, write a letter describing your itinerary, advises Eleanor Berman, author of Traveling Solo. "It will sound wonderful to someone at home, and it will lift your spirits to write it." It's also worth noting that loneliness can be preferable to unwelcome attention. Mature women who last traveled alone in their youth may take comfort in the fact that they no longer elicit as many unwanted sexual overtures as they once did.

Even the normal hazards of travel that afflict everyone can make solo travelers feel particularly vulnerable. To reduce the misery and inconvenience of falling ill far from home, singles should be sure to pack basic medicines. Wingler suggests eating yogurt every day for a couple of weeks before a trip abroad. "It helps build up the friendly bacteria in the intestinal system," she says. Well before departing the U.S., check with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for health advisories about the region you'll be visiting, and make sure you have all the recommended vaccinations. Buy medical insurance that covers you overseas (the Original Medicare Plan does not). Anyone traveling alone to a remote area of an undeveloped country should consider evacuation insurance as well.