Sex in the Symphony

Say what you will about the liberties the bond string quartet takes with a piece of classical music, you can't fault its sexually charged performances for being off key. Off color, yes. A bond concert is a melodic lap dance: the four sylphs do energetic things with their orchestral instruments, not to mention their hips, that would compel Stradivari to order an exorcism. One does not learn to straddle a cello that way at a conservatory.

Roll over, Beethoven—and light me a cigarette. Ever since Thai-Chinese violin sensation Vanessa-Mae was featured on a 1995 album cover as if...

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