Adventures in Jury Selection

I'd be so good at judging my peers. Yet I can't seem to get myself picked for a jury

Illustration by Tomasz Walenta for TIME; Getty Images (10)

Far too little is asked of me in return for being an American. Sure, I could join the military, work for the government or stop using complicated accounting tricks to avoid taxes, but I'm the kind of guy who prefers to be forced. So I get excited whenever I get a jury-duty letter. Not only is it an opportunity to do my part for a legal system I believe in, but also, after a career of writing columns, it would be nice to finally have my opinion matter.

Yet I've never even gotten close to making it onto a jury. A...

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