The Foster Precedent

There's no place for bitterness at award shows, so I'm letting mine out now

Illustration by Tomasz Walenta for TIME; Getty Images; Corbis (4)

I have room in my brain for only one adjective per celebrity. Angelina Jolie is hot; Russell Crowe is angry; James Franco is overcommitted; Ryan Seacrest is nearby. This rule also applies to noncelebrities. My lovely wife Cassandra is lovely.

My adjective for Jodie Foster was smart. Apparently, Foster wanted me to have many, many more opinions of her. Accepting her lifetime-achievement award at the Golden Globes, she made a slightly hostile speech in which she stated she valued "privacy above all else," mocking a culture in which "every celebrity is expected to honor the details of their private life with...

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