Prediction: I Will Irritate Nate Silver

In which I force the king of statistics to help me forecast the year ahead

Illustration by Tomasz Walenta for TIME

Despite my contacting the world's leading experts, the predictions I've made in past columns have not been great. Last year I was sure there was going to be a surge in pimento-cheese consumption. For 2009 I called the Red Sox as World Series champs. In 2008 I said that when Dick Cheney was no longer Vice President, his friend would shoot him back in the face. In 2006 I thought a loophole in religious law would cause most Amish to be on Rollerblades. In 2004 psychic James Van Praagh gave me a vision of a major fashion trend that never materialized:...

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