Call Me Maybe?

I was hoping to be courted by the candidates. Alas, they know me too well

Illustration by Tomasz Walenta for TIME

I'm supposed to be getting a lot more attention. Sure, I got a couple of robocalls, a few mailers and a bunch of e-mails from Obama with subject lines including "Hey," "Hey," "Hey," "Hey" and "Hey again." But this election was supposed to be more about me. The presidential campaigns data-mined information on my purchases, Web browsing, blog postings, real estate holdings and Facebook friendships in order to find the policies I care deeply about and promise me exactly what I want. And yet all I got were the kind of dashed-off, any-girl-who's-awake e-mails titled "Hey." If a guy's going to...

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