The Princess Diaries

In which I get to the bottom of my susceptibility to royal toplessness

Illustration by Tomasz Walenta for TIME; Bra:Corbis

One of the reasons I've avoided meeting the Queen of England is that I don't want to learn all the confusing rules: kiss her hand, curtsy, call her "Your Majesty" and use a special set of dishes. But I do know one thing for sure: I'm not supposed to see her boobs. So I was surprised when I heard that the future Queen of England, Kate Middleton, was shot by a telephoto lens while tanning topless at a villa in Provence. Even though as a straight male, I don't care about Kate Middleton, I do care very much about breasts, so...

Want the full story?

Subscribe Now

Subscribe
Subscribe

Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!