How My Dad Saved Father's Day

Also known as: How my dad saved me from 20 years of shirt buying

Illustration by Tomasz Walenta for TIME

Shopping for Mother's Day is easy. You just take a normal thing and buy a superexpensive version of it. Here's a $20 bar of soap! Here's a $50 candle! That thing where you lie down and listen to Enya and nap for 90 minutes? I found a place where they charge you $150 for that!

The problem with Father's Day is that it doesn't focus on the people who like holidays: women, children and gay men. They're the ones who enjoy presents, cards, parades, baked goods and people paying attention to them who aren't strippers. No one sitting around a poker...

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