My Psychic Powers at Work

Behold the boldest, most Maya-endorsed predictions you will read for 2012

Illustration by Tomasz Walenta for TIME

I don't think i have actual psychic powers. But I must have some sort of extrasensory perception, because my prediction columns for the past two years have been freakishly on target: For 2010, I accurately predicted both a Sarah Palin reality show and the name of my unborn child--and it wasn't even a common name. For 2011, I predicted the further destabilization of Pakistan and a pimento-cheese craze. Eerie, huh?

This year, though, predictions are easy. That's because they don't have to last very long. The ancient Mayans have a calendar that predicts the end of the world on Dec. 21,...

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