Guns Blazing

The GOP has its Young Guns. Who better than me to help the Democrats get hip?

By Joel Stein Monday, Nov. 01, 2010
    • John Ueland for TIME

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    I considered working on a few more ideas until I realized this is exactly why we have 435 Representatives. Minnesota's Keith Ellison, 47, whose district includes Minneapolis, liked my ideas right away. And he was sure we could come up with a cooler name than Young Guns. "I think it's corny," he said. "It speaks to a juvenile fascination with firearms. It suggests overcompensation for masculinity deficits." Then, as if we were in a bank-heist movie, he spit out the members of our team: Steve Cohen (the smooth guy), Barbara Lee (the brave one), John Lewis (the wise one), Bruce Braley (the sharp one) and Betty Sutton (the chick with pizazz). I asked him if he had considered a name for the team. "Yes, I have. Public Servants," he said. "We could set it to a hip-hop beat. We could use a k for the c. Or maybe a q."

    I countered with the Transformers, and he agreed to embrace it. Better yet, when I asked if he'd call himself Ellisonus Prime, he said, "I'll rock that little moniker." Then he got really into it. "I think we should be about transformative change," he said. "Instead of people being judged on religion, gender, nationality or sexuality, we could transform ourselves into a cohesive society."

    This was exactly the kind of deep policy stuff I was working so hard to keep the party away from. I wished Ellison luck and got off the phone. These guys will be lucky if they maintain control of the Capitol bathroom.

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