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SHOCKING

JAPAN'S FINANCE MINISTER resigns over disoriented, slurring appearance at G-7 summit. Who does he think he is--Joaquin Phoenix?

ELTON JOHN to produce film in which aliens invade Jane Austen--era England. Title: Pride and Predator (we didn't make that up)

MEL GIBSON. A spicy-recipe kind of guy

Upcoming ANNA NICOLE SMITH opera to destroy opera

MICHAEL PHELPS not charged in bong incident; released into open water

RYAN ADAMS engaged to MANDY MOORE; to release double album about it next week

SHAQ + JABBAWOCKEEZ = television gold

MC HAMMER reality show. Naturally

M.I.A. has a boy

CHRIS BROWN apologizes for doing something...

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