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SHOCKING

Quasi-reality-show star LAUREN CONRAD scores three-book deal for quasi fiction

MICHAEL DOUGLAS being considered for Steven Soderbergh's Liberace biopic

DAMIEN HIRST smashes art-auction records. Bidders unsure which wall would look best with a formaldehyde-preserved shark

SARAH SILVERMAN picks up Emmy for the song I'm $&*!^%# Matt Damon

BATMAN comic accidentally released full of profanity. Still got nothing on Silverman

Two thumbs down! New York Post critic wallops ROGER EBERT at filmfest

AMY POEHLER announces she's leaving SNL after the election

PREDICTABLE

TINA FEY dresses up as SARAH PALIN, who once dressed up as Tina Fey

ELLEN DEGENERES to be...

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