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SHOCKING

82-year-old CLORIS LEACHMAN joins Dancing with the Stars

MADONNA flashes pic of McCain alongside image of Hitler. McCain flashes pic of Madonna alongside Britney Spears

KARA DIOGUARDI added as fourth American Idol judge

RAFAEL NADAL reneges on threatened image makeover. Capri-pants industry breathes sigh of relief

Reggaeton star DADDY YANKEE endorses McCAIN. Confused McCain looks for Uncle Sam impersonator

CHER (absurdly) rumored to play Catwoman in next Batman film

St. Paul BILLBOARD greets GOP delegates

SEINFELD signs on as Microsoft spokesman. Not that there's anything wrong with that

PREDICTABLE

MICHAEL JACKSON turns 50. Nose turns 14

MICHAEL PHELPS secures speedy...

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