Joel Stein Sells His Gold

As the price of gold soars, Joel ponders selling the necklace that (barely) got him through high school

Louie Psihoyos / Corbis

Though I had even higher aspirations, apparently my mom was so impressed with my graduation from sixth grade that she bought me a gift: an incredibly cool gold-chain necklace. The chain said to all who saw it, Sure, I may look like an honor student who is bad at sports and gets stomachaches before parties, but I am actually capable of horrific violence, passionate lovemaking and savage indifference to a tribe of orcs with my +2 broadsword. I wore that chain every day, from sixth grade to 17th grade, when my new girlfriend told me I had to take it off...

Want the full story?

Subscribe Now

Subscribe
Subscribe

Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!