While you aspire to your six-pack abs, your miracle diet, your glamorous life in rehab, my supermarket checkout time is spent in a world without pretense. It's a world where we good, simple men have to prepare for danger lurking from aliens, protect an Elvis who is reassuringly ALIVE! but still eating poorly, and be aware that Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein (also ALIVE!) are involved in a tumultuous, shaved-ape-adopting love affair in France. The Weekly World News fulfilled my reporter fantasies by ignoring the facts and my reader fantasies by doing it with very limited, large-point-size words.
The Weekly...