I'm Running Too

If elected President, I promise not to lead. Please send in your checks

My fellow Americans: I'm a follower, not a leader. That is why I am declaring my candidacy for President of the United States. There are so many candidates in the field, why not one more? I had planned to wait and follow my friend Sarah, who says she might run too, but I do not want to be the very last follower. That could maybe be construed as leading.

What do I stand for? Besides following, I mean. Universal health care, definitely. Or if not universal, then at least darn good coverage for any and all female candidates from Manhattan who...

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