Punchlines: Dec. 4, 2006

"Senator John Kerry says he's thinking about running for President in 2008. In other words, Kerry is still telling bad jokes." CONAN O'BRIEN

"Russian scientists claim to have created remote-control turtles that they use for spying missions. They use live turtles with little tiny cameras on their shells. Hard to believe they lost the cold war." JAY LENO

"In Kentucky, four people were shot by BB guns outside a Best Buy as they waited in line to purchase the new PlayStation 3, in yet another disturbing case of nerd-on-nerd violence." SETH MEYERS

For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons

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