This Essay Will Help Your Kid Get Ahead

Actually, it won't. But why are so many products making such ridiculous claims?

Aqua, pink, lilac, yellow -- the cheery-hued "program curriculum" updates arrive every month, shoved into my 2-year-old son's day-care cubby by his gymnastics teacher. But far from simply imparting fun facts about how my toddler spends his exercise time, the summaries detail the invaluable physical, social and cognitive development occurring each time he attacks the mini-trampoline like an overcaffeinated kangaroo. Among the class "goals": to "build confidence while having fun in a safe and positive environment by practicing and applying the use of listening skills, imaginations and following directions." Which prompts me to greet each new missive with the thought, How...

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