"There's been a myriad of sporadic cease-fires in the Middle East over the last 60 years--indeed, over the last three millennia ... Still, I think this one's going to last. Call it a hunch." ROB CORDDRY
"Did you have trouble at the airport? I had to throw away all my makeup. I believe it's an elaborate ruse perpetrated by the big cosmetics industry. Maybe it's not terrorism. Maybe it's Maybelline." JIMMY KIMMEL
"NASA lost the original film of the moon landing. Well, you know, in their defense, they're not exactly rocket scientists." DAVID LETTERMAN
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