"I don't know what Mel Gibson's next project is going to be, but I think we can rule out Fiddler on the Roof." JAY LENO
"It's so hot in New York that some people have been jumping into public fountains. Because nothing beats the heat like a nice, refreshing dip in some homeless guy's urine." CONAN O'BRIEN
"Miami's Hispanics took to the streets to celebrate Fidel's temporarily stepping down. Way to go, America! Our plan to slowly deteriorate his health over 50 years is working!" STEPHEN COLBERT
For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons
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