Punchlines: Aug. 7, 2006

"Anybody see the Miss Universe pageant? The big winner--Miss Universe--is Miss Puerto Rico ... Is it me, or does it always seem to be someone from Earth?" DAVID LETTERMAN

"WIKIPEDIA CELEBRATES 750 YEARS OF AMERICAN INDEPENDENCE FOUNDING FATHERS, PATRIOTS, MR. T. HONORED" THE ONION

"Did you see the weather map today on the back of USA Today? I have never seen this before--all the states are red. It's like Karl Rove's dream come true." JAY LENO

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