Punchlines: Jul. 17, 2006

"A church in Memphis has erected a five-story Statue of Liberty, but instead of holding her torch, she's got a crucifix. That doesn't make any sense, but if a five-story vampire comes at these people, they are so covered." --BILL MAHER

"J.K. Rowling has vowed not to write any more Harry Potter books after the one she's working on now. So say goodbye, because one more novel, three more movies, four more video games, a few board games and a theme-park ride, and she's out." --DAVID SPADE

For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons


Want the full story?

Subscribe Now


Get TIME the way you want it

  • One Week Digital Pass — $4.99
  • Monthly Pay-As-You-Go DIGITAL ACCESS$2.99
  • One Year ALL ACCESSJust $30!   Best Deal!
    Print Magazine + Digital Edition + Subscriber-only Content on TIME.com

Learn more about the benefits of being a TIME subscriber

If you are already a subscriber sign up — registration is free!