"A person was caught trying to jump over the White House fence after throwing a package over it. Turns out it was just Hillary Clinton with carpet samples."JAY LENO
"This past weekend, Al Gore's movie An Inconvenient Truth earned more per screen than any film in the country. I daresay Gore's movie is the highest grossing PowerPoint presentation in history." STEPHEN COLBERT
"Big vote in the Senate: they voted down the gay-marriage ban. It was a very close vote: 48 voted 'Yea,' 49 voted 'Nay,' and three voted 'Fabulous.'" DAVID LETTERMAN
"Britney Spears recently hired a male nanny. When asked why,...