Ah, graduation day--pomp, circumstance and a speech by the highest-wattage star on whom the university can grant an honorary degree. Competition for the big-name orators can start years in advance (Bill Cosby can't be everywhere at once). Students may not care, but the spectacle is really for the day's true heroes: the parents. Herewith a sampling of this season's spiels.
Her Creds: B.A. in literature, Yale University
Her Message: University of Pennsylvania's seniors, who were initially underwhelmed by the selection of the actress as speaker, gave standing applause to Foster's inspirational homily after she quoted the apostle Eminem:...